glitter in the air
by kanmuri
Summary: We're only half past the point of no return. Obito-centric, spoilers up to chapter 599.


Title: glitter in the air

Pairing/s: None

Disclaimer: Masahi Kishimoto- the little troll that could. Song by P!NK.

Summary: Have you ever thrown a fist full of glitter in the air?

* * *

_I wish…_ Obito thinks.

_I wish…_

He wishes… he wishes for a lot of things.

He wishes he could say goodbye to his father. He wishes for his Sensei's cool hand on his forehead, guiding him to the next world. He wishes for Kakashi, and for Rin, and for everyone he's loved and everyone he's hated and he wishes with his whole heart until he feels he might explode with the light of _wanting_.

_I wish…_

There's a word there, stuck in the back of his mind. It's like an itch he can't scratch, can't focus on because the world around him is blurring, is dying. No, that's not quite right. _He's_ the one who's dying. The world will go on without him. Kakashi and Rin will go on with out him. Minato-sensei will go on without him.

They'll be great. They'll be good.

Obito closes his eyes -

_Kamui!_

- and then the world around him moves no more.

The first thing he's aware of is that everything is completely, utterly still. There's no wind, no sunlight, no - no nothing. It's pitch black, aside from the hard surface he's sitting on. Obito's eyes widen. After all that's happened, the only word he's thinking now is, "_Huh_?!"

_Where… where am I?_

A voice!

It's low and raspy, tired and battle-weary. But Obito can feel the strength inside the hollow of the voice calling to him. "_Boy…_" the voice whispers, and Obito's head jerks up.

"Oh!" he cries.

Because suddenly, he's not in that strange, still world anymore. There are trees around him, hard dirt beneath his hands, and deep black eyes staring into his own.

The man standing before him is dressed strangely lavishly for war-time. His strong jaw is framed by a mane of wild black hair, and he's frowning at Obito like Kakashi does when Obito's done something weird and he can't quite figure out why.

"Who are you?" asks Obito.

The man doesn't answer him. "You're strong, boy," he says instead, his eyes sparking lightly. A small quirk of his lips. "Though it appears you're missing something."

Obito suddenly, abruptly becomes aware of a tearing pain ripping through his body. "A-ah!" he grunts as his right arm gives way beneath him, his chest collapsing just as he feels a river of blood trickling down his face. One eye gone, the other bent and bleeding, and he recognizes the feeling of cracked ribs far too well. "I - I'm dying," Obito gasps.

The man chuckles. "Come with me," he says, holding out a hand. "We'll get you cleaned up."

And what can Obito do but grasp the man's hand with his own? He is pulled to his feet in one smooth motion, lifted gently into the air when it becomes obvious he can't walk on his own.

"I'm Obito," he tells the old man.

The man nods. "Madara," he replies finally. "My name is Uchiha Madara."

* * *

"It-it's not that I'm not grateful or anything," Obito mentions casually one day. He's up on both feet, now, though he's still using a cane to support himself. Medical ninjutsu can work wonders, but it can't heal everything, after all. Long, jagged scars now run along the right side of his face, buried under layers of bandages, and his arm is still wrapped tightly against his chest.

It wouldn't be so terribly bad, he thinks sometimes, if only he could _see_.

With the bandages over his one working eye, he's very nearly blind, clinging to feel of Madara's chakra pretty much wherever he goes. It's kinda humiliating, really. Finally recognized as some sort of hero, and now he's tagging along behind an old man he barely knows like a lost puppy.

"But…" Madara prompts when it becomes apparent Obito's lost in his own world.

"But," Obito says, "I have to ask - _why_? I mean, you're like some big-shot shinobi from a hundred years ago, right? So why are you interested in _me_? I'm nobody!"

Madara glances down at him. "Of course you are. But that eye technique of yours is something special, boy."

Obito glowers. "So you're only interested in me because of some ability I _apparently_ have that I can't actually remember using?"

"Basically, yes."

"Well that's fucking great."

"Watch your mouth, boy," Madara tells him absently, and Obito's eyes narrow even further. He can count on his own eyeballs how many times the guy's actually referred to him by name, and considering the current state of the things, that's pretty pathetic. He says as much, and Madara shrugs.

"That is something I've been meaning to talk to you about, actually," the old man says. "How would you like to get a new eye?"

Obito blinks - or well, he tries.

"Awesome," he says, "But I don't know any jutsu that -"

"You don't know any jutsu that kills a person?" Madara finishes for him bemusedly.

Obito's brows knit in a frown. "I'm no pussy when it comes that sort of thing, alright? But I only kill my enemies, and even then, only if they're trying to kill me."

"A strange philosophy to have during a war," Madara says in a soft voice. "Is that why you were half-dead when I found you?"

"Nuh-uh!"

"Hmm," is all Madara will say to that.

A few days later, Obito is led to what Madara tells him is just a cave, but what Obito feels is more of a hideout. He's told to wait inside the entrance while Madara fetches a 'gift' for him.

He waits for only a few minutes before Madara returns with -

Another man, struggling and shouting in his arms.

Obito raises his head. "Who is this?" he demands.

"A present for you, boy," Madara says snidely. "I thought I already told you this."

Obito can't speak for a moment.

"You want me to kill him, don't you?" he asks finally.

He can't see Madara nod, but he knows he's doing it just the same.

"You said you'll only kill someone if they're trying to kill you. So, surprise!"

Obito barely has time to leap back before the man in Madara's arms roars at him, tearing at his clothing with wild hands. _Shit,_ Obito thinks. _Shit, shit!_

And then he doesn't have time to think anymore, because the other man cries, "_Sharingan_!" and oh _crap_ he's an Uchiha, he's family, Obito can't kill him!

A slash to his right, and the bandages covering Obito's right eye fall away, revealing the Sharingan he had never meant to awaken.

_Shit!_

"Some hero," the other Uchiha hisses as Obito struggles in vain to fend off his attacks. "Bet you didn't even know that precious little bitch of yours is _dead_."

_That's it._

The next thing Obito knows, the man is lying dead on the ground, and Obito is sobbing, wretching, his back heaving with heavy, gulping breaths.

"I - I didn't mean to -"

There's a warm hand on his back then, and Obito spins fearfully to stare into Madara's eyes.

"Take it," the old man says. "You earned it."

Obito stares at the dead man on the ground. "I killed _family_," he spits. "I earned _nothing._"

Madara frowns, his grip tightening around Obito's skin. "Would it help," he wonders, "if I said this bastard was lying?"

Obito holds his breath, not daring to hope.

"Your Rin is alive, Obito. So is your other friend." He pauses, gazing meaningfully at the dead man's eye. "Would you like to see them?"

_No,_ Obito thinks freverently. More than anything, _no._

"_Yes_," he whispers.

* * *

Obito's not quite sure what he's doing here. His fingers curl around the bark of the tall tree beside him, eyes narrowing as he tries see without _being_ seen. Spying has never been one of his greatest skills, and he can feel his heart _th-thumping_ in his chest like it's fighting to break out.

He's tired, and hungry, and all he wants to do is go home and rest. Madara allowed him only a day back here, after all, and it would be nice to go home and let his family know that, you know, he's _alive_ and everything.

But something stops him.

A boy, about 12 or 13, is standing at the memorial at the very edge of the forest. It wouldn't be such a big deal, but the boy is _right in front of him_ and Madara warned him that his presence has to be kept a secret from the other villagers. Outside of close friends and family, _no one_ can know he's alive.

It sucks, but Obito figures he can deal.

Except…

Except this boy is wearing a mask and - and now that he looks closely, his hair is a pretty weird shade of silver, isn't it?

_Kakashi_? he thinks, startled.

He watches as the other boy's head bows, hair falling softly over his eyes. He's wearing the Konoha hitai-ate again, Obito notices, but it's a new one, shinier and gleaming in the early morning light.

And he looks - he looks -

_Sad._

Sad?

But that's wrong, Kakashi isn't supposed to… he's not… he wouldn't…

"Kakashi," Obito tries to say, can't.

Obito's so focused on his almost-friend that he nearly doesn't notice the smaller girl arrive, place a hand on Kakashi's shoulder. As he watches, Kakashi jerks upright, his eyes shooting wide, muscles tensing minutely.

_Rin_, thinks Obito. A flood of relief rushes through him. He'd known she wasn't dead, but even the thought made him want to die all over again. Rin _can't_ die. For that matter, neither can Kakashi. Obito's pretty sure he'd piss all over Sensei's monument if something happened to them while he's gone.

Rin's smiling sadly at Kakashi, now, and Kakashi's eyes fall again, and Obito is struck with the abrupt realization that it's _his_ grave his friends are standing at.

_Kakashi's sad… for me?_

And then, less steadily, _Rin… misses me?_

And also, _They're good for each other._

This particular realization hurts him less than it probably should. Because for all his chasing after Rin, and for all her chasing after Kakashi, all he's ever cared about was her happiness. And she'd loved Kakashi, truly and fully, every bit as much as he'd loved her.

Kakashi was better than Obito. He was stronger, faster, smarter. But he was also an asshole. And nothing could change that right?

Rin couldn't be happy with that, right?

But things are different now. Obito watches as slowly, Kakashi relaxes under Rin's touch, as his right hand reaches up to touch hers. She smiles, and he… looks less sad, anyway.

_They're good for each other._

Obito smiles, too. Because see? Even if they're all hurting, even if they can never see each other again, at least their whole team is smiling, right?

Because Obito doesn't plan to see them again.

They're better off without him, after all.

* * *

"Oi, Obito." The voice has become kind of soothing, kind of familiar, kind of a nightmare. "You're late."

Obito doesn't look up. He figures it's a little more badass to say to the ground, "Yeah, I know."

He's draped in a dark cloak, the high collar comforting in its familiarity. Red clouds splash along the black.

Akatsuki, Madara likes to call the people who wear it.

Obito thinks the name suits them rather well.

The man before him has flaming orange hair and brown eyes and seems to Obito to be 6 feet taller than him, even though he knows there's probably at most a foot difference between them. Obito's always been tall for his age, after all.

The man's name is Yahiko. He's the leader of this so-called 'Akatsuki'.

That's what he thinks, anyway. Obito, being Madara's apprentice, knows better.

"Where have you been?" a quieter voice asks. Obito doesn't have to look to confirm it's the far shyer Nagato.

He looks at the ground. "Well, I - "

* * *

Kakashi, watch out!

_Kakashi is running, hitai-ate flung up, his eyes determined and perhaps a little scared. He's not quite used to the Sharingan yet, Obito can tell, because it's darting back and forth as things fly past, so quickly Kakashi doesn't seem to notice the rock in his path. He falls forward into the dirt, just as his captor reaches him, the kunai squeezing tight in her grip._

_Blood splatters everywhere._

_Obito's become much stronger, after all. And he always hits his target._

_The Suna woman topples down, draping over Kakashi like a blanket. She was dead before she could take her next breath, and Obito watches as Kakashi looks up, then down, eyes wild as he searches for his apparent saviour._

_Obito slips back into the shadows._

_Later, the sun low on the horizon, he watches Kakashi stumble his way to the memorial. It's become kind of a habit for him, Obito's noticed. No, more of a ritual, really, and Obito wonders vaguely if he should be concerned. Kakashi's always been ridiculously OCD that way, to be honest._

_Kakashi's smiling, though, his fingers rising to ruffle through his silver hair._

_"…And then this kunai came out of nowhere and killed the guy," he's saying, eye arching. He's been smiling a lot more often lately, though Obito's not sure that's such a good sign. "Lucky, huh?"_

_Good sign or no, it's impossible for Obito not to grin back, his own fingers tangling in his short, black hair. "Yeah!" he replies, even though he knows Kakashi can't hear him. If Kakashi can do it, why can't he?_

* * *

"I…"

Obito's back in the present, now, and for the first time his cloak feels heavy around his arms as his hand automatically reaches to scratch the back of his head.

"I'm late because… I'm late because I got lost on the road of life!"

_Nailed it,_ he thinks.

Yahiko just shakes his head.

* * *

Obito is staring. He knows he is, knows it's rude, doesn't give a crap.

"You have _got_ to be kidding me."

Madara shrugs, his neck rolling with the movement. "It's the logical next step."

They're sitting cross-legged on the mats within the Akatsuki hideout, Obito sporting a frown that would wither freakin' _daisies_ if there were any in Amegakure. The lack of sunlight has kind of made that impossible, however, so he settles on trying to wipe the smug look off of Madara's face with it. "You want - you want to get _inside_ me," he repeats, and he can't mask the uncomfortable tone that slides along his voice.

"Mm," Madara says.

Obito gapes. "…_Why?_"

"I've told you, your eye - "

"Yeah, yeah, it's great, I get it, thanks. Why don't you just take it, then? Seriously, I should start charging a fee on this thing."

"_My_ eyes have already reached perfection, boy," Madara replies, sounding slightly strained - or annoyed, possibly. "I would only require your jutsu for a small time, and then I _promise_ I would give your body back."

"You're crazy," Obito says blankly.

Madara sighs, frustrated. "I'll take it by force, if I must," he says, and if _that's_ not rape-y, Obito doesn't know what it. He shrinks back, hands lifting in defeat.

"Fine, fine, just don't do any gross stuff with it, okay? Oh, and don't break it, either. It's kinda important to me."

Madara offers him the closest Obito's ever seen to a smile on the guy. "I promise," he says.

Ten hours later, all hell breaks loose.

* * *

/_You've killed her!/_

The words scream over and over again in his brain, pounding against his skull until he thinks he'll break apart into little pieces, sharp shards of glass flying everywhere because oh God oh God oh God they're all dead, she's dead, _everyone is dead_ and it's all his fault.

"Shut up," Madara tells him languidly. "You'll see her again soon, anyway."

Obito can't move, but in his mind he pictures wrapping his fingers around Madara's throat.

/_You killed her!/_ he screams again, like screaming will make a difference.

"No, you did," says Madara, and that shuts him up then and there.

Because in that exact moment, he realizes just how far he's fallen.

Following after a man who has never once proven himself trustworthy. Taking a dead man's eyes. Spying and killing for peace when that had only ever created more war before.

It had taken a minute for Rin to choke to death. A minute, because she'd seen him coming and there'd been only joy and welcome in her face, and _oh God he'd killed her with his bare hands._

Rin is dead.

Sensei is dead.

Kakashi is - yeah, Kakashi is still alive, okay, that's good, but _everyone's dead._

And it's all his fault.

/I killed her,/ Obito whispers. /I killed her./

Kakashi - where had Kakashi been? Why wasn't he with her? Why didn't he stop him?

"Yes, you did," Madara replies out loud.

/I'll kill _you_,/ snarls Obito immediately. /Don't think I'm lying./

"I don't. Surely you know you're not strong enough, though."

/Not strong enough to defeat _you_,/ Obito says, /But more than strong enough to kick _my_ ass./

Before Madara can think, respond, Obito's torn control from him and his arm is reaching up to grasp his own throat. He catches the faintest thought of _shit_! from Madara's mind before the man is slipping from his grasp into his body that lays inches away from Obito's.

"You're not getting away!" cries Obito. He grabs Madara's cloak and jerks him up to eye level.

He does this for a very specific reason.

Suddenly Madara is spiraling away into another universe, his face erupting into glitters of gold and black, and Obito's shaking, his body is trembling because he's just used the Mangekyou he was never supposed to have, and he's used it _consciously_ which means he actually did earn it, this time.

It means he really did kill Rin.

It means the Mangekyou was no accident, no last wish that spared him from death.

It means it's _his_.

He knows the first thing he should do now is find Kakashi, to die at his hand. At least then he might be of some use. Kakashi will awaken his own Mangekyou, and Obito will die like he was supposed to that night.

He doesn't though.

Instead, he drops to his knees and picks up the mask that Madara left behind.

Sensei's death can't be meaningless. Nor Rin's, nor anyone else's. Obito won't let it.

He wraps the mask around his head and swallows.

"Come on, Madara," he says out loud. "We've got work to do."

* * *

:owari:


End file.
